Pseudonymous enough? Whatev.

Emotional balance is an illusion…

…A presentation to the external; a picture you set up so that others would ‘get’ you…

But its okay; we don’t need to upset everyone around us just so everyone around us would see the ‘true’ You.

Even despite all those declarations of “Keep it Real!” Do they even know what “Real!” is?

We are all layered creatures.

It’s all right. Smile.

:)

What right do I have to reveal my private thoughts in this private(?) forum, when these my private thoughts also involve the privacy of others?

What catharsis do I hope for by sharing my private pains & insecurities, when nothing comes of my sharing them here except for even more pains & insecurities?

Where do I find my truest friends, who will accept my inadequacies at face value, and help me to overcome them, instead of using these revelations as fodder to further humiliate me?

Not anywhere on cyberspace, it seems, for now…

I come here to seek counsel. To vent. Not to seek war. Not to hurt feelings.

—-
And these are the same insecurities which lead me to delete my Path account last time…

I must move on because you will not accept me as I am.

I bore you.

(No matter how you might find me endearing. Once upon a time…)

I am still afraid that if I get too close to you i’ll just be upsetting you. So forgive me if I still keep things purely utilitarian. at least on my end. Because i still don’t know how to proceed without ruining things and/or causing excessive drama.

I know you want us to be just friends, no more and no less, and I am very willing to go down that road. But now is not the time for that yet. I am not master of my heart or feelings yet.

And yes I agree, I do not own you. Nor do you me.

I am still afraid that if I get too close to you I’ll just be upsetting you. So forgive me if I still keep things purely utilitarian. At least on my end. Because I still don’t know how to proceed without running things and/or causing excessive drama.

I know you want us to be just friends, no more and no less, and I am very willing to go down that road. But now is not the time for that yet. I am not master of my heart or feelings yet.

And yes I agree, I do not own you. Nor do you me.

Disclaimer: the following is a complete work of fiction.

—-
They’re both players.

But she never lets any boy get into her pants, while he on the other hand wants to get into every one of his girl’s pants.

Funny thing is, the one guy she is willing to let into her pants, is the one girl whose pants he doesn’t want to get into…

—-
(Or so it would seem at first.)

I feel no animosity towards you. None at all.

I’m just afraid I might hurt you further if I let myself get too close to you again.

(Get too close too fast.)

—-
Things will never be the same again between us, I know. But yes, things can & will get better. We both want it.